People Are Terrified of Sex (At least compared to other risky activities)
Brian D. Earp
Imagine that a thousand people—randomly selected from the U.S. population—had unprotected sex yesterday. How many of them will eventually die from contracting HIV from that single sexual encounter?
Now, imagine a different thousand people. These people will drive from Detroit to Chicago tomorrow—about 300 miles. How many will die on the trip as a result of a car crash?
Which of those two numbers is bigger?
How To Date An HIV-Positive Guy
There are plenty of good reasons to utter the words “let’s just be friends” after a first date. Perhaps there was no chemistry or a lack of shared interests, or maybe he was just a little bit of a dick. Regardless of your reasoning to either call or not call him again, his HIV status shouldn’t be a factor.
HIV isn’t one of the variables that determine whether you and your partner are an emotional and physical match. It is merely a measure of logistics and science. If all of the other elements of a relationship seem to be in place – sexual attraction, similar tastes and a mutual like for each other’s weirdness – both of you would be a fool to let mismatched statuses get in the way.
But there are a few things you should know when starting a relationship with an HIV-positive guy. Pay attention, and you two will live happily ever after – or at least not break up over HIV.
Beyond "Poz" and "Neg": Five HIV Statuses, Plus a New One
That awkward negotiation before imminent encounter with a sexual partner met on mobile apps, online or at a bar often includes a brief health information exchange about HIV. Health educators recommend discussing HIV status before sexual encounters. Disclosure could lead to safer sex, more relaxed rendezvous and enhanced intimacy.
While in recent years having this conversation has gotten progressively easier for all parties involved, in many cases the exchange ends up being a useless formality made of insensitive questions ("Are you clean?"), superficial acronyms ("DDF?"), and uninformative answers ("I'm good", "Yeah, clean", "Neg", "Poz", etc.)
Gay-on-Gay Shaming: The New HIV War
Here are salvos from a new battle: Calling a young, HIV-negative gay man a "Truvada whore" simply for choosing a prevention option with a higher efficacy rate than condoms. Becoming indignant when someone says AIDS is still a gay problem. Turning to the police when you find out the guy that just jilted you is HIV-positive. Putting "I'm clean, ub2" in your online profile. Joining digital stonings via online comment sections when a 20-something dares to come out as HIV-positive. HIV-negative guys barebacking with those who tell them they are negative and shunning the few brave ones who admit they're positive. These are just some of the examples of the new HIV war, with its gay-on-gay shaming.
Ten Things HIV Positive Guys Want Negative Guys to Know
Mark S. King
When Donald Sterling dissed Magic Johnson for being promiscuous and unworthy, it was nothing new for people living with HIV. They’ve heard it all over the years. A lot of those misconceptions persist today, even (or maybe especially) among gay men. Our attitudes can be hurtful, stigmatizing, and even contradictory.
Let’s give HIV-positive gay men the chance to set the record straight, and break down ten things they would like the rest of us to know. This list may not represent the views of every positive guy, but they definitely echo many of their most common frustrations.